Love, Marriage

Detoxing a Toxic Marriage

While chatting at a business meeting a few days ago, the conversation casually drifted to trending stories. It came to no one’s surprise that the subject of Keke Wyatt’s husband, Michael Ford, wanting a divorce quickly became a topic of discussion. What is disturbing to me is Ford’s use of the term “toxic” when describing his wife. The heartbreaking part is the affect this rocky marriage could have on their children, including the one she is carrying.
Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE Keke Wyatt’s vocal talent. When she sings, her voice is commanding as she moves from one note to the next. Most singers in this era wish they possessed that type of skill. However, her personal life when she’s not on the mic is a different story. Knowing what she has shared about her relationship with her 1st husband and her behavior with Ford on R&B Divas, along with Marriage Boot Camp, can only leave one to wonder that something was not quite right.
There seems to be a disconnect, from my perspective. I have watched a beautiful, talented woman miss something in her life from a self-love perspective and looking to fulfill it through other people. Countless women make this mistake and it saddens me. The reality is no man or child can fill the gap where self-love should boundlessly reside or serve as a band-aid for emotional distress.
As far as Ford goes, it would be hard for me to believe that whatever recently transpired was the first time he’s encountered it. I’m sure there were signs before the marriage. But, if he felt she was that unstable, then bringing more children into the mix was not going to solve the problem. It’s unfair to the entire family.
Any marriage can be salvaged, but it would be worth asking is it worth it? One thing’s for sure, they (and maybe even the children) will need serious detoxing, separately. It may take having intense therapy to uncover the root of the issues: what happened in childhood, what are triggers, prior unhealthy relationships. Then make a conscious effort to transform habits and respond to situations in a different manner than the past – starting everyday with the motive of evolving and not making the same types of decisions so that better results can be achieved. Eventually, those gaps will start to fill in to unleash healing, peace of mind, and happiness.
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